Why I fail as a Computer Programmer.

grub> boot
Error 8: Kernel must be loaded before booting
Kernel? Like popcorn?
grub> find /boot/grub.stage1
(hd0,0)
Hmm. That’s probably useful somehow. I should remember that.
grub> Kernel /vmlinuz
What happens when I hit the tab but..OH MY GOSH.
{Cue half a page of numbers that make little to no sense}
Whoa.
grub> Kernel /vmlinuz-2.6.35.6-74.fc14.i686
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
Oops, missed a number
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
C’mon, I spelled it right you stupid…oh, wait, there’s the mistake
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
You know what? Now you’re just doing this on purpose you piece of crap. I may not be a computer science person, but I’ma nurse, dangit! I’ll figure you out.
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
Why does everyone have to be over right now? and playing Justin Beiber? And for the Fourth time, YES I’VE GOTTEN THE COME PLAY SOCCER TEXT. I HATE SOCCER. AND YOU.
grub> Linux you suck
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
grub> Linux Y U NO WORK
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
grub> Linux, you STEENK
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
One of these days, you’re going to be sick of being all, “Error 15”, and when that happens, we’re gonna brawl. I mean it.
grub> Kernel /vmlinuz-2.6.35.6-74.fc14.i686
tab.tab.tab.tab.tab.Shoot… Enter?
grub> initrd /initrd-plymouth.img
Why is my computer’s name plymouth? Am I doing this wrong? Ugh. I should have made friends with the computer geeks, but noooo, I wanted to play with the music people and the artsy people and blah, blah, blah oh my gosh what is it doing?
Superblock failed? Kernel panic? No kernel, don’t panic, it’s be okay! Stop it! Argh! bread failed? What? I thought this was computers?
grub> fsck
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
Stop Telling me that!
grub> /sbin/fsck
Error 15: Unrecognized Command
OKAY FINE. We’re through here. Don’t come crying to me when someone smart has to mercilessly rip out your hard drive. Jerk. You’re a jerk, computer.

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